Can you guess what this one's about?
That's right; Political fucking correctness.
"As Roman Catholics and women are currently known to be under represented within this occuptation group across the NICS, applications from Roman Catholics and women would be particularly welcome."
- The Northern Ireland Civil Service recruitment website on some job advertisement.
Now let me get a couple of things straight for any readers who don't know me personally.
Firstly, I'm Protestant and secondly, I'm male.
So that rules me out for the enviable position of 'greenkeeper' within our beloved government.
Back in the wonderous days of yore it might have been possible for anyone to get a job, but it seems now that the preference is given to black,catholic,transgender,inbred,taliban women with 5 dependants, 3 limbs and no British passport.
What about a job advertisement for, "White, middle class, protestant, British males"?
And even if you are so lucky as to be a member of this, often called, 'racist' group, you will soon fall upon the trick question asking you whether you have eligibility to work in the UK.
The correct answer is quite clearly, no.
Don't worry, majority.
Because if you are a white, middle class, protestant male, it's more than likely that Mr. Brown's government will be happy to accept you into their police force.
That is, assuming there's a few Catholics in the mix.
Then again, the major problem with Northern Ireland is that Protestants and Catholics, well, don't exactly mix.
It's for this reason that the PSNI police service of Northern Ireland (after rejecting NIPS - sadly) will only commence training if there are exactly 50% prods/catholics.
Should you be one of the lucky few who makes it to training, rest assured that you're not safe yet.
If you are a prod, and a catholic decides he doesn't like the police any more and quits - they'll cut a prod, too. Visa versa.
After all, this is 2009! There's no such thing as racism, sexism or homophobes! We all get along now. So well in fact that even if your country is made up of 95% white protestants, the second a single Muslim enters your country you can expect to pay for the world's biggest mosque outside of India! (see: Birmingham).
Also, please expect your courts to respect Shyria law.
Even if it does state that murdering your wife is legal given circumstances and you can kill her for 'reading poetry'.
And don't forget to turn off your Christmas tree lights for good, as several counties in England did so as not to offend anyone.
Black pudding is being called dark pudding.
"Merry Christmas", on certain British television shows was referred to as "Happy Holidays" in xmas of 08.
Spotted Dick is called Spotted Richard in school canteens.
And may you be sentenced to eternal damnation if you 'Snigger' at the Beano!
"Political correctness gone mad"
- Daily Mail.
Couldn't have said it better myself.
Have a good chri...holiday season my fellow brethrens. Be sure to be generous this winter - when you see a minority, don't be a bastard and give him everything you own and change your society to suit him.
I'm sure he'd do the same for you :)