America - Mind your own bees wax

It is the backbone of their economy – The only thing people can associate to the country – A very good reason for investiture if you’re mega rich – The Swiss bank account.

So here’s the thing. People love Switzerland and the Swiss, and if you’ve got a bank account there, you know why. It’s because, unlike the great big overweight capitalist with a nose like a periscope, IE, America, the Swiss keep themselves to themselves and don’t go about medalling in other country’s business. Least of all, they don’t go disclosing your personal details to other people.

The Inland Revenue Service (IRS - US) decided that enough was enough with privacy and they bullied the country, founded upon yodelling, into handing over the details of more than 500 clients belonging to Swiss bank, UBS. Originally, they wanted 50,000.

Their reason for this direct invasion of people’s lives, was to combat against tax-evasion within the US.

Now, stop me if I’m wrong here, but if you sell a product and decide to whistle as you walk past the tax man by lodging all proceeds to a tax-haven, surely this is the problem of the countries which the deal was made, not the problem of the country where the bank account is…

The reason the US are bullying Switzerland into tarnishing their own reputation, “There was no alternative to this solution”- Swiss Justice Minister Eveline Widmer-Schlumpf – is likely because of America’s inability to police their own. When they fail at determining the problem they move right on to plan B which usually involves somebody else being muscled out of money/land/rights/alloftheabove.

So how about this America; fucking suck it up. So a few people broke the law by dodging the tax man. You can’t prove it. Now get over it. There’s really no need for you to go bullying other countries, especially ones as internationally friendly as the Swiss, into doing what you want.

A great way to exemplify American policy is to look at Guantanamo Bay.

Firstly, let me make it quite clear that I agree with detention centres like Guantanamo and I also feel that those who are rightfully detained within such centres be hosed with bleach and branded with iron twice a day, but why, oh why, did you feel it absolutely necessary to put such a place on the soil of a country that doesn’t fucking belong to you?

Get the fuck out – and stay out – of Cuba. It’s no wonder they banned you burger-inhaling  tubs of lard, because if you don’t sink the country with your immense physical weight you will almost certainly destroy it with your stupidity and foreign policy.

Back on topic – Guantanamo is a perfect example of how the American government think, that is;

Please read the following in some weird Texan-style accent;

“Hey Lance, get in here and take a look at this cotton-pickin, communist. This mother-fucker right here done think he did gonna fly soma them there planes into them there big tall houses in New York City plus he DON’T DRIVE A DODGE. Now  I don’t wanna put them god damn towel-heads in the same prison as ma sister who’s also ma wife, so what ya’ll gonna do instead is just I dunno some load of bulllllllllllllllSHIT where we done put em in another country and forget about em. Maybe torture em too.”

“What about Cuba, sir?”

“CUBA?! – GOD DAMMNIT LANCE, YOU DONE GO MAKIN UP WORDS AGAIN”

And thus, Guantanamo Bay detention centre was founded.

Imagine a world where the Americans were like the Swiss. Peaceful, respectful and completely satisfied with the way things are. Sure, it’s good to have international influence and it’s good to have a large, dominating military.

But Switzerland has none of that and anybody who has been to Switzerland and sampled some of their 15 franc beer, (£9), and seen their 2 million franc alpine mansions (which according to google is the AVERAGE house price!), will come to realise that their economy is doing rather well for itself and GET THIS – They’ve never even invaded Iraq!…

America, take note.